Busy...

Lately i have been very busy both at work and personally, and I haven't been able to update this blog.

Anyway, I have been able to work on the development of my feminine and submissive sides.

First of all, this week I have removed body-hair that is unsuitable for a sissy. It is a very strange feeling at first. I felt even more naked in a way. But the sensation of pulling a pair of stockings up my newly shaved legs is very HOT. I am a bit nervous about showing up at the gym shaved and with my new pair of panties.
In order to work up the courage to wear panties to the gym  i have decided that i can "get away with" wearing my black satin briefs. I have been thinking that if someone notices these panties, they are propably looking too closely anyway. :-) Wearing these to the gym is my main goal this week. Hopefully i will be able to report back with a success story in a few days.

This was the good news...now for something not so fun.
I have problems fulfilling the first rule of Sissy Master, that I am to swallow my cum when i masturbate. I manage to do it some of the times, but other times i get a feeling of guilt and start wondering what i am doing. Then i usually do not manage to swallow it. I am not sure how i can improve this, so if anyone has any tips, please let me know. There is one way i at least get to eat some of my cum, and that is by placing myself with my butt against the wall behind my bed. Then I use my legs to get my hips up in the air, and out from the wall. I am not so good at explaining this i guess, but anyway i end up with my sissy-clit positioned over my face, aming at my mouth. In this position i always manage to get some cum.

Regarding masturbation, i picked up a tip on another website, and this is to push the sissy-clit inside my body. Then I stick two fingers inside, and start massaging the underside of the head. I haven't managed to cum this way yet, but i am trying, and hopefully i will experience my first orgasm this way soon.

I have been challenged to write an essay about wearing lingerie, and how it makes me feel. I am not sure if this is an essay, and I am not sure if it makes any sense to anyone (i am not an experienced writer), but nevertheless here it is:

Satin. Just the word satin makes me feel nice inside. Smooth, silky, and soft are words that come to my mind.
When a sheet of satin is formed into a pretty pair of panties things start escalating. I can spend hours browsing lingerie-sites looking for nice specimens of this lovely piece of clothing. Walking past a window-display in a lingeriestore, i can find myself getting lost in time looking at panties and bras hugging the perfect shapes of the exhibition-dolls. I am so jealous of women, because they are "allowed" to wear these items every day.

But, I do have a little secret: I wear panties.
Not every day unfortunately, I have neither the courage nor enough panties to do that. The days I am going to the gym for instance, i have a long road ahead until i dare to show up in the men's locker room wearing my favourite pink satin panties.
Every now and then though, I wake up, have a shower, and make sure my crotch still is smooth-shaved. After caressing my skin with a towel, i get back into bed for a few minutes, just to make sure my skin is dried and smooth. (You see, I really don't like my skin being moist when wearing panties.) When i get out of bed for the second time, i open my special drawer, and go through the contents. What kind of panties to wear? String panties? They are really lovely. Silky soft, but at the same time they make themselves known by riding tight between my two round cheeks. This serves as a constant reminder that i am actually wearing panties. I LOVE this feeling. If I am wearing these to work, I can't really seem to stay focused, but instead I always find myself drifting into a fantasy where work is completely different. I imagine myself dressed in a short tight black skirt, black seemed stockings, high heels, and a white blouse. In this fantasy I am a secretary; typing, copying, fetching coffee, and being pinched in the bum. Sometimes i choose these string panties, even though i know that my work-day will be worhtless, just because i love the fantasies that
i will experience.

Back in front of my drawer, i switch my attention to the black satin and lace briefs. These provide a different experience. In some way they are more subtle, just caressing my butt and thigh all day. They do not provoke the same imaginative behaviour, but they do a really good job in slowly making me aroused througout the day. I guess they make me feel more like a housewife kind of woman. When wearing these panties, I get encouraged to bring out my femininity after work. I like to treat myself with a manicure or pedicure, all while sipping to a glass of dry white wine.

I look through the rest of my panties, and they all fit one of the two descriptions above. The only major difference is colour.
When I have made my choice for the day (today that was a pair of light pink briefs with grey edges.), I reach into the corner of my drawer and pick up a clear plastic item. This is my chastity device (CB-3000). I love to wear that under my panties when i am not travelling. First of all, it prevents my excuse for a manhood to become hard, secondly it enforces my femininity when I have to sit down to pee for instance. After closing the padlock on my chastity device i go back into the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror as I slide the pink briefs up my legs until they hug my cheeks tight.

After dressing for work in a pair of jeans and a shirt, it is so nice to feel the soft sensation close to my skin. Looking like a regular guy, it is so exciting to think that no one knows my secret. Even though i would like ONE special person to see the real me.

First pictures on the web

Hello there,

First of all, I must say this is pretty hard. The vanilla part of me does not agree to posting these pictures on the internet. Once they are posted, they will forever exist somewhere on the web. (i guess)

On the other hand, Abigale does a pretty good job persuading the brain. So, if anyone is interested out there, here is a few pictures of Abigale in lingerie. The outfit consists of three items:

1. Purple satin hipster panties

This pair offers a nice smooth feel against both my bum and my 'clit'. Even though they are not a complete match color-wise, they do make me feel soo soft and feminine. Sorry for the naughty poses :-), but they really show these panties from their best side.

2. White Stayups

I really love stayups. These are currently my only pair, and even if they feel and look very nice, they are approaching retirement. I just need the courage to get me something new. Does anyone have any tips for shopping stockings online? 

This is the only pic from tonight that shows these stockings. They make me feel divine, even if the picture isn't worth much.

3. Pink satin babydoll

This garment is special to me. As the two other items, they feel very nice, but that is not all. This babydoll was purchased together with my Mistress (at that time), during a trip abroad. The memories from going shopping for lingerie is something that gives this particular item a great deal of sentimental value to me.

Requests or tips?

If anyone reading this has got any advice to lingerie that would fit my looks, or tips to good value for money lingerie shops on the web, please leave a comment. It would be highly appreciated.

kisses

Abigale

Famous first words

Hello all, (hopefully at least someone)

I am a 31 year old "man" who has been turned on by femininity for more than half my life. And when I say femininity, it is not referring to women, but rather about me having small encounters with my feminine sides.

There has been a naughty little girl inside me since i first "borrowed" a pair of panties from my sister at age 15 (without her knowing, of course).

I have never let this side of me evolve to a big extent. It has always been crushed by guilt, and ending with the masculine part of my brain bullying it. This usually results in throwing away the few pieces of panties and lingerie i have managed to aquire.

There is only one other person in the world who knows about Abigale's real identity, a strong woman i had the pleasure of being introduced to Dominance and submission by. During the time our relationship lasted, she encouraged Abigale, and let her feel what it is like being a woman. But this is a couple of years ago as well.

So, here i am, with my own "stage" this time. Hopefully i am here to stay a bit longer this time around.